Lubchansky Home News, March 2023
March 2023's doings and screwings
Hello hello! The platform I mostly use to ~communicate~ with the fair people of earth is dying a protracted and hilarious death. But we still have each other. Here in your beautiful inbox. Mwah.
Chazzerei
THIS WEEKEND at MoCCA!
That’s right, this Saturday and Sunday I’ll be tabling at SOI’s MoCCA arts fest! Table 204! I’ll be there with copies of books and more. Come say hello, it’s my first show in a while and I’m looking forward to it. I’ll even have a copy of Boys Weekend to flip through if you want to see it B-)
SPEAKING OF
Did you preorder your copy of BOYS WEEKEND yet? Carmen Maria Machado called it “A witty, tender romp through the cosmic horror of being alive.”
Lincoln Michel says “It’s a wild and hilarious romp with something smart and moving on every page. I tore through it and think you will too.”
And here YOU are, saying “I will preorder my copy of Mattie Lubchansky’s BOYS WEEKEND by clicking this very link.”
PS: some BW events are in the works 👀
BONUS ITEM: Mattie’s Recipe Corner
Here’s the thing about me: I’m always Iterating on Lunch. Recently, I’ve discovered a really good way, to deliver “egg,” lunchwise. Unfortunately this thing is completely un-photographable. Trust me, though. It’s good.
Here it is. I call it…Egg Lunch.
You’re going to need: 1 egg with the yolk separated, some short-grain rice, preferably made a little sticky, 1 tbsp each of Tamari (or any soy sauce) and sushi vinegar, sesame Oil (spicy kind ACCEPTABLE), 1 Kraft single (crucial that this cheese is NOT nice or good), Neutral oil (I prefer safflower), and 1 scallion, sliced scallion-style. You know, diagonal.
Heat a wok (cast iron will also do) until it’s smoking hot. Add a good splash of your cooking oil and let it go for a while. It should be sputtering hot. You’re going to get hurt. Not really seriously hurt but you’re going to get like, a little hurt.
While you’re waiting for that, pour the soy sauce, vinegar, and sesame oil on the rice. Put the cheese on top and microwave it for 30 seconds.
Pour the egg whites ONLY into the wok. Once the edges are set, tilt it so the oil pools and spoon some oil over the top to cook it some. This is the second opportunity to get Oiled in a painful fashion.
When the edges of the egg whites are nice and golden brown, gently place the yolk on top of the whites. Here you will get hurt again. This is a powerful lunch and it is merely testing you. Like the rabbis of old, Lunch has refused you thrice. Poach the yolk like once or twice with the oil the same way, just so it’s not completely raw.
Spatula it out of there, knocking as much loose cooking oil off as you can. Serve it on the rice, yolk down, and then press on it till the yolk bursts and mix it all up.
Top with some raw scallions.
Welcome to lunch, baby!
Comics this month
Over on my Patreon (where you can see these puppies as they come out, earlier than anyone else! For the low low low low low price of $2/month):
And over on The Nib:
Odds and Ends (i.e. Da Podcast Guest Zone)
I joined my pals Phoebe and Milo on Masters of our Domain to talk ostensibly about the Seinfeld episode “The Secret Code” but mostly ended up inventing Welsh Clifford the Big Red Dog.
I joined Phoebe (see above) and my pal Hussein on Ten Thousand Posts to talk ostensibly about publishing and comics but mostly ended up talking about my enemy, Scott Adams, and his Dilbert-shaped castle.
Speaking of that guy, the Washington Post inexplicably interviewed me about him. Sure!